Just going through my luggage, clearing out some things to make way for enlightenment
Saturday, January 14, 2006Laugh... For Your Health
“When we laugh, natural killer cells which destroy tumours and viruses increase, along with Gamma-interferon (a disease-fighting protein), T-cells (important for our immune system) and B-cells (which make disease-fighting antibodies). As well as lowering blood pressure, laughter increases oxygen in the blood, which also encourages healing.”
"Science of Laughter” Discovery Health Website
I believe in the healing power of laughter and have decided to periodically share some of the funny stuff I receive. If you've got a real gut-buster, email it to me.
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?
Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?
Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?
If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?
How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, bitch?"
Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
And my FAVORITE...... The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.
from Stefan Moton
Malik returns from the doctor and tells his wife, LaQuita, that the doctor has told him he has only 24 hours to live.
Given this prognosis, Malik asks LaQuita for some goodies.
Naturally, she agrees, and they "get busy".
About six hours later, Malik goes to LaQuita and says, "Honey, you know I now have only 18 hours to live. Could we please do it one more time?"
Of course LaQuita agrees and they do it again. Later, as Malik gets into bed, he looks at his watch and realizes that he now has only 8 hours left. He touches LaQuita's shoulder and asks, Honey,please....just one more time before I die."
She says, "Of course Big Daddy" and they make love for the third time. After this session, LaQuita rolls over and falls asleep.
Malik, however, worried about his impending death, tosses and turns, until he's down to 4 more hours. He taps LaQuita and says "honey, I have only 4 more hours. Do you think we could........."
At this point LaQuita sits up and says, "Look ni**a, I gotta get up in the morning....YOU DON'T!