Unpacking Baggage

Just going through my luggage, clearing out some things to make way for enlightenment

I now see clearly why I have found myself on the wrong side of this debate. It's not that I don't believe the descendants of those who built this country deserve some of the wealth that's been achieved from their labor, I have just constantly found myself in debate with folk who think the country needs to write them a check. I don't believe it's possible for everyone to get paid without completely destroying the economy. Like J said, "there is no dollar amount to be placed on how our forefathers built this country," but I know that they would be pissed off at the way things have played out economically for us. A few years back I had the opportunity to dine with Dr. Manning Marable, who more eloquently than I stated, that when white folks die they leave a will. Black folks leave a bill.

I love each of you for the comments you have left. After reading them I had to wipe tears from my face. We are a really hurt and angry people, but a few of us recognize and are able to articulate it. There are so many of us who don't know how. Through no fault of our own, Black folks are in emotional distress. More than anything else we deserve the right to heal. I encourage everyone I know to see a therapist, even if there is no apparent need. We need to learn to embrace the hurt and anger so that it doesn't consume us. The physical atrocities our forefathers suffered pale in comparison to the psychological damage that has mutated over time. Just this year I learned that Protestantism, which most African Americans practice, contains a piece that talks bout wealth and prosperity. I probably am not getting it right, but it basically says that how much you acquire in life is a direct reflection of God's love for you. The slaves were not given that piece. They were told that God would reward them in the afterlife. Our churches still teach that madness. That's just wrong as hell and one of the things for which we deserve reparations.

I don't think it's necessary to destroy the economy. As Terrence pointed out, "we've practically pulled ourselves up by our bootstraps by reducing poverty rates by about 46% since the early 60's" all the while suffering injustices and indignities. I believe that if we are provided with adequate educational opportunities and healthcare, including depression screening and treatment, we can become a whole and well people. Our anger and energy will be channeled and the real revolution can begin. Through time we have seen what smart negroes are capable of. Even the not so smart have raw genius, which makes the education piece so crucial.

My grandmother and her sisters are the grandchildren of former slaves. Throughout my life I have watched them and seen what they could have been, had they not been forced to work in the fields of their sharecropping father. Aunt Zora would have been a restauranteur, Aunt V would have been a physician, Aunt Sarah would have been banker, My grandmother would have been a great opera singer. They missed those opportunities and can never get them back. They have done very well for themselves, but they still deserve a piece of what they could have gotten.

I also have found myself on the wrong side of the debate because I really don't want anything for myself [well... if I could get these damn student loans paid off, that would be hot!]. I want everyone to truly have equal opportunity. I want every Black child to be able to have a teacher like Eric Jones and I want all those teachers to have all the tools available to white teachers in all the best suburban schools. Our children deserve that and so do our teachers. I want every Black person in the country to receive counseling to know what has and is happening to them and to realize it's not their fault. So that when people like the Jello Pudding man hold that mirror up, we can understand the hurt and anger that fuels his criticism. I'm rambling and I'm really emotional right now [and that is okay... it's aight to cry]. I just wanted to respond to the comments and again express my love for each of you. You are helping me grow.