Unpacking Baggage

Just going through my luggage, clearing out some things to make way for enlightenment

It was never meant to offend, but somehow, someone in my circle coined the term "fat girl snack." No one was attempting to make fun of the obese. I have some big girls in my family and I would never do anything to piss them off. But lets keep it real... fat on the body doesn't appear out of no where. Sometimes it's brought about by a physical condition, but more often than not, it's the result of too many poor dietary choices... fat girl snacks.

A fat girl snack can be virtually anything edible. However, there is a criteria that must be met in order to earn the FGS label. First there are certain foods that are, without question, a fat girl snack. Pretty much anything made by Hostess, Drake, TastyKake or that bitch, Little Debbie make the grade. I bake a homemade poundcake as well as three-layer caramel and coconut cakes. They too are fat girl snacks. Candies, cookies, or anything that comes packaged in a bag, marked by Wise, Lays, Utz, or Herrs... FGS!

There are also items that are considered fat girl snacks, simply based on the time or intention of consumption. A stack of pancakes at 7:45 in the morning is a meal. A stack of pancakes at 3:45 in the morning is a fat girl snack. In fact... most foods eaten in the wee small hours of the morning are indeed fat girl snacks. Exceptions apply if you have a) spent the better part of the night, dancing at a club... b) are on some kind of service and have been up for three days... c) just had marathon sex or d) all of the above. You need something to eat. Treat yourself!

Intention is also a great factor especially when considering fast foods. A lunchtime dip into Mickey D's, BK, KFC, Popeyes, etc., still borders on the verge of fat girl snackness, however the fact that it's a noon day meal removes some of the stigma. On the other hand, anything handed off through a window and consumed before you get halfway down the block is what??? A fat girl snack. The same rules apply to to take out. Anything fried and encased in styrofoam is a fat girl snack at any time of the day. Just as an aside... having a diet coke with your meal makes it no less a fat girl snack. You might as well get you a Tahitian Treat or some kool aid, the red kind real sweet.

I am by no means condemning the consumption of the fat girl snack. Matter of fact, I'm a fat girl snack connoisseur. Wherever I am I will find the spot. A trip to Chicago is incomplete without a dip into a Harold's (pick a good one... a wrong number could result in the runs). Ain't no way you can go to DC without going down to Horace and Dickie's for a 4-piece fish sammich. When in Philadelphia, eat a cheesesteak... just because. New York has a soul food cafeteria off 125th Street above a KFC called, Manna's. If you go to Georgia, get you some boiled (bald) peanuts and some red velvet cake, preferably in the same sitting. Child, it don't matter. Just eat. And if you know of a good spot... let me find out. Holla Back!

So bottom line... A fat girl snack is ANYTHING you know you shouldn't be eating, but sometimes, it be's dat way.